Everything is a Dead End
Okay so I’ve been depressed for a while now, but tonight it’s feeling very real. Everything is a dead end, and I know it in my heart. There is so much I can’t say, but even if I could, it wouldn’t matter.
Whatever you say, doesn’t matter. What matters is what is inside my head, and what is inside my head is killing me. Slowly.
I know about depression. And I live with it. And I am dying with it. You suck, world, and you know it which makes it all the uglier. When I die you live on. No matter how I go, when I am gone, you live on.
I will have had pain and ugliness, to the point of extinguishment. But you will have not had enough, nor will you care that I have been eliminated. So why does it matter to me? Why do you matter to me?
Because I am desperate, and all I can see in front of me is you. Since you don’t care, and you are all I have available to me, you suck.
And that is my depression.
7 comments
Missy…Would you please email me?
It hurts to see you hurt like that.
I also suffer from depression, so I suggest you do what I do.
When I am feeling down I go to a massage parlor for relief and a
pick me up.
Works wonders for me…
I’m not going to say “I know what you’re going through” because I don’t. Depression affects everyone differently. My depression was my own and yours is your own. However, if you would like to chat about it, or just vent, you may e-mail me, one massage therapist to another.
Thomas
You’re right…
Are you still at missyprovider on yahoo, Missy?
I hope you’re doing better.
yes I am. Thanks.
I just read your blog and it is fascinating. Best of luck to you in the future, I hope you find what you are looking for and mostly what will make you happy.
There’s a book called “Pink Box” (by Joan Sinclair) about Japan’s sexwork industry.
The providers there have clubs they can go to, where male escorts cater to their every need. To have a man take care of them, for a change, probably helps them keep their balance.
That stuff really should be legal here.
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