I am a massage parlor girl.

I will be adding new images to the masthead of this blog, from massage parlor pictures I have collected over the years. Let me know if you see something you like…

The concept of “dirty” lives well in a massage parlor.

Under your fingernails, is it clean? Under your arms, is it clean? Swipe the counter top in your local diner - is it clean? The bottom of yours shoes, which you wear on the public streets and then into your own bedroom… is any of it clean?

Germs everywhere, but what is “dirty”? I once waited for a friend in a brothel apartment in Toronto. She was working there just for a few days, because she was in a very tight squeeze and needed money. The owner was renting the place out for outcall, and a spanish girl was organizing the activities.  The spanish girl put an ad in the paper that said “Yes, Greek” with a phone number. The craziest dudes showed up there, all thinking they were going to enjoy anal sex with a prostitute. And they did. That place was filthy. The few minutes I was there, I saw used condoms on the floor under the sink, and slimy bottles of lotion that I can only imagine were covered with unspeakable germ colonies. My friend said it was a clean place - they insisted on double condoms for everything. I noticed there was no shower, and the bathroom towels were cloth towels that obviously needed to be exchanged a few days ago. My friend said that was the problem with spanish girls… they didn’t do anything that wasn’t specifically for themselves… like care about the common towel laundry. What does “clean” mean?

In any massage parlor I have ever worked, there was a focus on cleanliness. Hot towels from a steamer,  sink in the room or very close by, use-once towels and sheets. I could never ask a customer to lay down on a bed with hairs from a prior customer, or oil stains or worse. In a massage parlor, dirt is evidence of a prior customer. And that concept continues for the attendant (me). There is to be no evidence on me of any prior customer, invisible germ or otherwise.  It’s just the way I do things.

I’m involved in the opening of a new massage parlor in Los Angeles. It is under the radar for now, because the owner doesn’t have a CO (certificate of occupancy) but it will be legit one day soon. Funny thing is, since it is not legit, it is really not legit. Understand?

Massage girls think like this: if you’re breaking the law, you might as well get paid. So if merely being in a no-CO business makes you liable for prosecution, why not whore for money? A lesser perspective has been prevalent for many years in the Chinese massage parlors, compared to Korean massage parlors. The koreans will give hand jobs and nothing else, almost out of principle. But the chinese massage girls say that why give a hand job for $40 or $60 when the law says it is prostitution? As long as you’re going to get dirty, you might as well get $120 so do full service. It’s a cultural thing, I think.

Anyway so we’re finishing construction, and the guys who put in the plumbing are raising the costs every hour because they think they’re going to get paid in pussy. Maybe they are, I’m not sure, but it is funny to watch them as they think no one is watching. They waste so much time, hide parts they say we need, and basically steal from the owner. I’ll make sure she knows everything I know before she pays the bills.

The press and the media portray the  girls selling their bodies as the whores, but often it is the customer or “john” that is the real whore. They sometimes give up so much just for that half hour of sexual excitement, one needs to investigate why it has so much value to them — and the flip side of that, which is what value they get for themselves. If what they get is worth more than a few hundred dollars of currency, aren’t they the whores?

This email came in from a reader. He is a long time customer of sensual massage, but now he finds himself whoring himself out to women in exchange for stuff.  Sometimes he  pawns the stuff he gets for cash, and sometimes he just destroys it or uses it until he the thrill is gone. The core similarity is he is addicted to selling his attention and his body to women, who buy it with gifts and cash. Those women probably don’t think they are soliciting prostitution. He didn’t think he was whoring, until recently when he read some of my erotic massage bog and recognized himself.

His story is being edited and will be published next, right here. Let me know your thoughts in a comment.

Sensual and Erotic Massage… sounds so cool. But it’s a dirty business.

It wasn’t always that way. There was a time just a few years ago when an erotic or sensual massage girl had to know how to give a good massage. She had to know how to look like the girl next door, while suggesting through her looks that the girl next door was capable of some very exciting activities. I think the men out there know what I mean.

It doesn’t take a genius to recognize a street walker on The Track at Vancouver, Canada or near the tunnel in New York City. If you are driving alone along the access roads to the Lincoln Tunnel in New York at 11 pm and not simply entering the tunnel Jersey bound, then everyone and his cousin knows you’re cruising for a hooker. There is no other reason to be there. And just to make sure you know what a hooker is, the girls there wear Hollywood Hooker clothes… Fredericks of Hollywood, that is. Very skimpy and shiny and practically glued-on clothes. Most guys don’t know that the tunnel hookers in New York don’t actually take anything off nor do they let you touch much… it’s all for show. The real patrons know to visit the Queens side bridge for the real whores.

But while those super-obvious sex workers cater to the visual thrill seekers, the massage girls used to cater to the quiet indulgers. The guys who didn’t want to cruise barren industrial streets after hours in search of pooty tang. The massage was the act… hands on touch therapy. Touch touch touch and then maybe a little extra special touch towards the end of the session, if you know what I mean. Taking off my top back then was very optional, and actually rather rare in those days. A fondling through the shirt at the moment of release was far more common than a bare breast hanging in front of a wanting mouth, as seems to be the case today.

Back then I witnessed more ejaculations under sheets than across massage tables. If a guy wanted to be managed to stress relief, it was a forbidden treasure that usually involved an upright pole raising the sheets, and my hand beneath those sheets helping raise the flag. Discretion was part of the thrill. He knew what was going on, and I knew, and the sheets would later reveal its wet spots but all through the event the eye contact expressed shared excitement at the thrill of forbidden fruit. The “ahhh” was far more exciting than laborious. Today, it seems erotic and sensual massage is work for you guys. It could even be compared to stress… fancy that. Getting off in a massage parlor for some of you guys these days seems more stressFULL than stress release. And I think it’s because you’ve lost the thrill of the forbidden treasure.

Back then, of a girl wrapped her palm around your crotch, handling you through your jeans while looking into your eyes and suggesting she might help you to a little stress release, the guy was shocked and excited and anxious to go find a quiet place with her. Nowadays, if I do that the guy more often than not says something aggressive, like “I’ll bend you over and show you what stress release is” or something else that is relatively harsh. Had I wanted to get “fucked”, or even better “fucked wildly from behind” I would not have wrapped my palm around your gonads and brought my lips close to yours, daring you with my eyes. I would have raised my skirt almost far enough, turned away from you and pressed the crack of my ass against your stiffening pole. Come on, guys, get with the program. If you can’t match the girls communications, you won’t please her. And if you don’t please her, or at least show the potential for pleasing her, she won’t be into you. If I say I want to play secretly as per forbidden fruit, that’s what I mean. I didn’t say I wanted to experience your best attempt at rape play.

There was a day when, in the final minutes of a good hand job after a solid massage session, I would bring my warm mouth close to the head of his anxious penis and blow gently, and perhaps extend the tip of my tongue just enough to enable him to sense the moistness of my mouth. He would sigh in feigned distress, as if in pain that my forward movement of mouth to penis was not (yet) a blow job. He would tell me I was killing him with the tease, and beg me to swallow him. I would resist, but I would eventually lick, and as I licked he would come, and it would be perfect.

Nowadays if I do that I get grabbed by the hair in an attempt to choke me with a rod stuffed down my throat. Yeah, that’s real sexy and inviting, eh? Or better, I get whiny “bitch” like comments that suggest the client isn’t getting what he paid for, or is otherwise being cheated because I’m not letting him throat fuck me. Gimme a break. It’s erotic and sensual massage, not Sadie’s Whorehouse. Or is it?

More on massage parlors.

You want what?

You want me to touch you where?

I don’t understand.

Show me what you want.

Oh. I see. Well, I don’t do that usually.

The boss is very strict. I could lose my job!

At what point did you offer her money? I bet, and you should correct me in the comments if you think I am wrong, that you didn’t offer her money until you go to that last stage.

But the smart guys out there offered the money at stage 1, and never got any of the rest of those comments. They just had a good time, and learned a lot about their massage therapist.

Did you know the IRS considers Valentine’s Day to be an especially revealing day for insider tax fraud tips? That’s right. Tax auditors check for Ventine’s Day dinner and travel receipts, to reveal hidden relationships that are passed off as tax deductable business expenses. The dentist who does tax deductable “business” with a marketing consultant, whom he also just so happens to meet on Venatine’s Day at some resort somewhere? Busted.

Did you know private detectives consider Valentine’s Day to be worth waiting for? Often times the costs associated with tracking down lovers having illicit affairs can be very high, so the private dick recommends the client simply wait for Valentine’s Day. Sure as the Pope is Catholic, the cheaters will find a way to spend that evening together. It works… they catch plenty of cheaters on Valentine’s Day.

It’s always the women who insist on being treated on Valentine’s day. They want to feel “special”, and hate the idea of him being with some other woman (even his wife) on Valentine’s Day. So is it worth getting caught?

I say New Year’s Eve is amateur night for boozers. We real boozers know to stay home that night, to avoid getting killed by the amateurs. And Valentine’s Day is for suckers. We pro’s know it is best to give Valentine’s Day (night) to the other woman, in order to preserve just about every other worthwhile dating opportunity in the year. Let her have him on Valentine’s… don’t be stupid. Make him pay later, if you must, but keep the peace and find some reason your are busy on Valentine’s Day and he can’t take you out. Make sure it’s not secret, so he doesn’t think your cheating on his cheating, mind you, but skedaddle outta there. It’s just too much trouble.

Some ideas for making it all work out in your favor, without wrecking everything:

• screw him silly for two days prior to Valentine’s Day, to the point of soreness. He’s less likely to try and get laid on your day off that way.
• on Valentine’s Day, call him up and say you have this weird red rash and went to get tested, and everything’s okay, but the doc says don’t be intimiate with anyone for two days until the test results come back. That’ll help him avoid the temptation to cheat on you, heh heh.
• give him a big hickey (suck spot) on his penis the day before Valentines, and then show it to him. He’ll be aghast at how much it looks like a Herpes sore, as you laugh at how easy it was to suck gently and create such a rich red spot. They last about a day and a half, so that should keep him shy during Valentine’s Night.

Have any better ideas? Post a comment, below.

Well, many of you know I operate the erotic massage blog over at http://eroticmassage.blogs.com. I have relationships with massage patrons over there going back many years, and they have told me many stories about there escapades. For the past few years, in response to requests and because I myself play on personal dating sites, I have included links to various personals sites and watched the click activity to see what my readers like to visit. Some of these links generate a few dollars in commissions, so I also take advantage of that and put various people’s accounts in there as a way of showing them appreciation. Some guys who have helped me with my blogs get the commisions, and sometimes I just put up links I got from other blogs that I like. I figure if they published those commission links, they must get the cash, so why not help them out for having made such good content?

Anyway two months ago I noticed that of all the dating sites, one was getting a lot more traffic from my readers than others. There are Korean sites, Filipino dating sites, and Chinese personal sites, as well as Jewish, Latina, Seniors, and Asian. But the on seeing far more traffic is the Lesbian Dating site. Why??

I wondered that myself. I know I have woman readers, but that many? Finally yesterday one of my loyal readers clued me in. The guys are signing on to the Lesbian Personals sites to meet the girls who will hook them up for threesomes!

I am shocked at the cleverness and ingenuity! You guys never cease to amaze me. It turns out, the absolute best way to find a girl for a three-way encounter is to find a bisexual girl who wants to do the three way with you, and get her to pick the third person! Not only is she better qualified to pick up another bisexual girl than you guys are, but she looks at you now as not just some guy to screw but an opportunity for a three way with a hot girl! What a beautiful game you guys have worked out here. I have to give you a lot of credit.

The way I heard the story, guys sign on to the Lesbian personals site and search for women looking for men and women. They express their desire for a three way with two lesbians, and find a woman intrested in the same. They then flatter her with the “gift”of allowing her to pick the third person, which in effect is really putting her to work for the hookup! One guy even told me he looks for the lesser ladies because they are more flattered, and work harder to find a hottie, and the hottie views the encounter as a way to get laid without allof the male domination pressures.

I definitely have to learn more about this, so if you are one of the successful lesbian threesome hunters please write me a comment and let me know!

This story was told to me by a customer and friend. He came in for the usual - a sensual massage session scheduled to last 42 minutes, leaving him the necessary 8 minutes for manual release, and the 10 minute transition time. He loved my “regularity”, but I always knew he played with “private stock” girls on the side. On this day, he was a bit shaken up because he ran into an old PS girl of his in the grocery. While that is not normally a rough situation, this time it was because she was “reformed”. It went something like this:

“Well, I used to be a filhty whore so maybe you fucked me. Are you still a filthy John?“

He saw her across the aisle, and knew that he knew her from somewhere. As a fan of asian ladies, he was always finding ways to know them in the daily life, so it was not odd to recognize a lady and not be able to place her. He loved asian women, always sought to know them if he could, and was always open to any opportunity to have sex with them. Of course he frequented asian massage parlors, but, as he had told me many times, while he liked to screw the asian women, he didn’t enjoy them for manual efforts such as hand release or oral sex.

So when he saw her and she saw him he recognized her but not entirely. But then, as he tells it, she looked him squarely in the eye the way only a working girl does. She looked at him as if to challenge his courage. The brief working girl eye-2-eye stare says “yes, you know I am a whore, and I say so what, and I say do you have the balls to be who you really are, too, or are you just a poser?“. ( I swear, that’s what he told me… men!)

So anyway he took the hint and said hello. She gave him a hello back, but nothing more. Then he said “I feel like I know you, but I’m not sure from where?“. Expecting her to say “don’t worry, honey, I’ll never tell” or “Thanks for remembering me, honey. Next time come back to see me again before you forget me” or any of the other dozen responses he had heard from former pass-by-girls when meeting them on the streets of Flushing. But he wasn’t ready for what she said (very loudly): “Well, I used to be a filhty whore so maybe you  fucked me. Are you still a filthy John?”

Ouch. Remember what they say about prostitutes: you don’t pay them for sex, you pay them to leave afterwards. In this case, she had been reformed and was now righteous. Is there nothing scareier than a reformed, righteous ex-whore that you remember?

It’s 4pm. I am taking a break for an hour, and then the next guy to walk in for a massage session and treat me nicely is in for a treat. I will deliver a very good massage. And then I will leave the room, and return in an elf outfit. I bought it yesterday. It is red with white frill, and a very short skirt with red boots and a red jacket top and a red hat. I will not wear panties nor a bra, just the skirt and the jacket buttoned once.

I will smile from pointed ear to pointed ear. I will  say “Santa doesn’t think you were naughty enough this year, so he  sends you a present! Do you want it now?”

What do you think he will say? What do you think I will do with my bare bottom and short sleeves with semi-exposed chest?

The only chance YOU have of enjoying this treat, is go visit your local massage parlor RIGHT NOW and book a session. What have you got to lose?  Be sure to say Happy Holidays or whatever you preferred greeting is, and be nice. You may just discover an elf!